Where I’ve been and Why I’ve been silent

So I woke up this morning and wanted to write.  I wanted to write for me, and I wanted to write this for you. 

I haven’t posted on here in awhile.  Here’s why:  I got busy with worrying about the wrong things.  My anxiety was rising for a bunch of different reasons (as I know most of the world can relate to right now).  I’ve been pregnant and not feeling great (22 weeks currently with my little boy).  All normal pregnancy stuff which I’m so grateful for, but it still effects me.  Thinking about my due date with my first baby which should have been a week from now.  Worrying about getting Covid-19 and worrying about the health of my baby.  My husband and I made the decision a week ago that I was going to stay home from work.  This was a very hard decision for me.  Not only did I not want to leave my coworkers short, but I have bills.  I want to contribute to my household income.  I was going to stay because I was worried about money.  My husband finally got through to me that in 10 years the minimal amount of money that I would have made isn’t going to matter, the health of my baby and myself would.  So many things right now are uncertain.  I’m not certain when I will be given any hours again at work.  I am uncertain if I will even have a job to go back to.  I am uncertain what path my life is going to take now.  I know I’m not the only one in this boat but it’s just the truth.

But with all of this uncertainty in my life right now, so much certainty has come from me forced to sit, forced to step back from the hamster wheel I was on.  I am certain that everything will be okay as long as my husband, my baby, and myself are together.  I feel like the universe is giving me a huge shove in a certain direction that I can’t ignore.  So I’ve decided to listen.  I’ve decided to follow her cues. 

I haven’t posted on here because I have felt uninspired.  I’ve been feeding anxiety.  I never want to write anything or post anything on this site that is not genuine.  EVER.  I don’t ever want to half ass it for you.  That is not why I created this site and I would rather take a hit and be silent than post a bunch of stuff I don’t feel aligned with.  I will be back writing and posting daily as long as I have something of value to give you. 

Maybe something we can all learn is that so much beauty can come in silence.

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My name is Kerri and welcome to Love Today Now! I am so happy to have you here. This blog was created to inspire you to find what makes your heart beat, light up the world, and most importantly…love today now. If you want to learn more about how I got here Read More

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